Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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