it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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