Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
