Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
