He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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