remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
