Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
