her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
