some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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