I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
