The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
