Banned from zoo.
Again?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Mom said you looked used
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
