you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?