Small penises have feelings too.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
