What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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