Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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