if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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