omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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