I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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