i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
