I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
