a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
