drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
