The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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