I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
