the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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