There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
