You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
