You can't motorboat a personality
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
