yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
