Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
