how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
