I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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