Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
