Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize