Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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