Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Are we still banned from the library?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
