You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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