Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
