i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
