the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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