My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
