What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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