There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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