why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
