Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
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What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize