i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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