Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
