I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize