I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize