dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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