Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
