I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
