I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize