i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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