real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
