This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
