im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
