They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
