Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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