He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
