But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
