I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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