Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
