my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
