Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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