I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
