In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
