I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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