I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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