ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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