I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
