He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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