plz talk dirty to me
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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