so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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